A Sufficient Relationship

I heard two stories pertaining to the most heartbreaking aspect of this pandemic: The first was told by a nurse who attended to an elderly man dying from COVID-19. It was certain that he was going to die and as such his children and grand children were allowed a brief visit. The family said their goodbyes and cried and then were forced to leave. The man died two hours later, alone. The nurse recounted the agony as the man with his dying breaths asked to see his loved ones one more time. The second involved a woman in her eighties who lives alone. After weeks with no visitors and no company she ventured outside as her neighbor was walking by. Her neighbor asked if she needs anything and she replied that she just really wanted to hug someone. The neighbor of the older woman replied that when it was all over she would give her a hug. These two stories emphasize that we are social creatures made to live in relationship with others. First and foremost we are made to live in a relationship with the God who created us. Our relationship with God or lack of one will affect every other relationship we have. C.S. Lewis said it best in his book Mere Christianity, “if you are right with Him you will inevitably be right with all your fellow-creatures, just as if all the spokes of a wheel are fitted rightly into the hub and the rim they are bound to be in the right positions to one another.” I want to first examine three arenas that often make our earthly relationships insufficient. This doesn’t mean we lack love or are failing as friends, spouses or parents, rather it is a product of our sinful and selfish nature. Paul writes in Romans 7:19, “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.” We learn how to develop and maintain right relationships from others, but our examples are good at best and never perfect. This is why C.S. Lewis explains that good relationship with God produces good relationships with others. He is the perfect example. The first hallmark of a sufficient relationship is forgiveness. If certain we have all experienced someone unwilling to forgive us maybe even for the smallest slight. This makes a relationship ultimately untenable. Imagine whom the aforementioned lady may have been willing to forgive and embrace in her loneliness. The people the man wished he might have a chance to ask for forgiveness before he died. In Luke 7 Jesus says of the sinful woman at his feet, “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Forgiveness is the currency of love. Our willingness to forgive is proportionate to our love for that person. John 3:16 teaches us that it was Gods love for us that caused him to send his son Jesus to die that we may be forgiven. In Matthew 6 Jesus conditions God’s forgiveness of us on our forgiveness of others. The second hallmark is affection. The man and woman from the beginning of this post craved affection. Affection is defined as feeling of liking, favor or care for someone. Affection shows us where we stand with a loved one without it we are insecure and wonder if they care for us as much as we care for them. 1 John 3:1

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

God lavishes us with favor affection and care. When you submit your life to him you become his child. He being the best father cares for his children. The love of God is best understood as the love of a father. Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! The last hallmark is time. We spend time with those we love. The depth of a relationship can often be judged by the time spent together. How can one claim to love someone they never spend time with? I imagine that man dying in the hospital alone wishing for more time to see those he loved. Revelation 21:3-4 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” If you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior you will spend eternity with God in the greatest most sufficient relationship you will ever experience.